Through the Tearstained Glass of Number Four, Priv
by violetsnape85
Summary: This is fairly angsty, I wrote it to be my idea of what Harry's summer would be like, after going back to the Dursleys' like he promised Dumbledore he would, before Dumbledore's death. This is a Songfic to Blurry, I thought the song gave it a little extra
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, I did not create him, or anyone else in the Harry Potter series…I merely write stories about the characters for entertainment purposes. Please do not sue, for this story is not meant to infringe upon any copyright laws., or to offend anyone. Furthermore, I do not own Puddle of Mudd, or their wonderful song lyrics. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a songfic to Puddle of Mudd's "Blurry". I am aware that this is a love song, but when writing this fic, I did not intend for it to be a romantic love story. This story illustrates the love Harry had for Dumbledore. As you all know, Dumbledore was a very important part of Harry's life, and he did love him. I felt that most of these lyrics were appropriate for this story, however, I do not wish this to be construed as an implication of romance between Harry and Dumbledore. Please read and let me know what you think J

Summer was in full swing at Number Four, Privet Drive. Aunt Petunia was outside, in the garden, planting azaleas, and Uncle Vernon was shouting at the television. Even though it was a beautiful day, and most were taking full advantage of it, Harry Potter lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Normally, at least for the last six summers, Harry's main reason for this type of melancholy behavior was because his aunt and uncle were horribly cruel, and he was forced to spend the summer holiday with them, since Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had no summer term. This summer was different. Every school year, at the beginning of the fall term, there was a magnificent feast, and Albus Dumbledore, the most clever wizard ever to be headmaster of the incredible aforementioned school gave a wonderful speech. This coming term, there would be no such speech. There would be no speech because Albus Dumbledore had been murdered. Harry and his friends, Ron and Hermione were convinced that Severus Snape, a former death eater, was still loyal to the Dark Lord. Only Dumbledore, and the other teachers were convinced otherwise….but sadly, this was the one time Dumbledore was seriously mistaken. Harry still shook with anger at the thought of Snape's greasy black hair, gnarly hooked nose, and maliciously curled lip. Harry had wanted to kill him, had tried to kill him, but Snape had slipped away, like the loathsome slithering snake that he was. And even though Dumbledore wasn't his father, and this was certainly not the first significant loss in his life, Harry still felt lost and empty. After his godfather, Sirius had been killed in the Department of Mysteries over a year ago, Harry had felt so much pain, he thought he could never be hurt more….but he was wrong. The loss of Dumbledore hurt him so bad he couldn't even breathe. And even though many wizards had stopped by to offer Harry condolences, so much so that Uncle Vernon stopped gasping and screaming like the fat little pig he was when one would mysteriously appear as if from thin air, Harry felt anger towards them as well, as though they had come simply to gawk at the famous Harry Potter and find amusement in his pain. Dumbledore was gone, and they couldn't bring him back.

/Everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake Everybody's empty, and everything is so messed up Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl/


	2. Chapter 2

Harry awoke to a soft knocking at his bedroom door. He grumbled something barely audible, beckoning the caller inside. He was so shocked to see Aunt Petunia coming into his bedroom that he sat up, despite his throbbing headache. He looked at her curiously with his large green eyes, at a loss for words. She cleared her throat uncomfortably "I-I uh, I know we don't talk much, and that your uncle and I haven't always treated with as much kindness as we could, but today I was thinking to myself that this will be the last summer you come home--and it really occurred to me how much I- well how much I will miss your being here," she stammered, not even daring to look at Harry. He slid over to make room for her to sit on the bed. "I know you are not my son, and I know that I have never acted like a mother to you; and I am not saying I will embrace what you are…but you are still my nephew, and though I may not show it, I do care about you. I heard about what happened…and I may not be part of your world, but I remember how things were, when--when" she gestured with her hands, unable to make herself say even "You-Know-Who." Harry nodded incredulously, to indicate he knew what she was talking about. "And and I know you must be hurting because of what happened with that Dunderdore--" "uh Dumbledore," Harry corrected her. "Yes, sorry. Dumbledore. Well anyway, what I really wanted to say, was I wish you would eat something," she finished, now daring to make eye contact with Harry. Harry in all of his life had never felt as though his aunt did not despise him until this moment. Even though he had dreamed about one or both of his guardians showing any sort of love towards him, this still did not ease his aching heart; but he could tell that it had taken a lot of will and courage for her to say that to him, so he eased himself off the bed and followed her to the kitchen for something to eat. Something in her eyes begged him not to tell Vernon of what had transpired moments ago, and he knew deep down that his uncle would never, could never love him. A tear rolled down Harry's cheek as he remembered something Dumbledore had told him about the strength of love, and the love of family. Somehow, someway, Harry felt like Dumbledore had been in his bedroom just moments ago, and that idea stabbed him like a knife in the heart because it reminded him that he would never again be in the same room as Dumbledore. Why couldn't he protect him? Why hadn't Dumbledore allowed him to fight for him? Instead he put him in a full body bind, unable to act at all. 

/You could be my someone, you could be my sea You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene I wonder what you're doing, imagine where you are There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far

Can you take it all away Can you take it all away Well you shoved it in my face This pain you gave to me Can you take it all away Can you take it all away Well you shoved it my face/


	3. Chapter 3

Ron and Hermione showed up later that day. The sight of them holding hands made Harry's stomach churn a little bit. Seeing them together was strange, even though it fit perfectly. Harry also guessed that part of his discomfort was the idea of Ginny seeing someone else. He didn't dare ask, for what right did he have? He broke it off with her, not the other way around. She was certainly allowed to move on. His heart still ached for her, and now more than ever he wished she were here. "Harry? Harry are you alright?" Hermione asked him. Harry looked away in embarrassment. Hermione gave him a knowing look. "She still loves you Harry. Lots have come to call on her, but she won't give anyone else a chance. She's a strong witch, Harry. She can take care of herself; even if Voldemort came to call. Let her love you, you need her right now and she needs you," Hermione told him, thinking that was all he was thinking about. "I know she is capable of taking care of herself, Hermione. Surprise attacks aren't easy to escape," He replied, voice catching in his throat. Hermione looked away, and Ron shifted uncomfortably in the chair he had conjured for he and Hermione to sit on.  
"Snape will pay Harry, he will pay," Ron said seriously. " I know," Harry Whispered, a tear rolling down his face. 

/Everyone is changing there's no one left that's real To make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel Cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl You could be my someone You could be my sea You know that i will save you From all of the unclean I wonder what your doing I wonder where you are There's oceans in between us But that's not very far/


	4. Chapter 4

Harry stared at the wall. He was back in his bedroom and had no desire to leave it ever again. Ron and Hermione had left hours ago, and Hedwig clucked disapprovingly at Harry's lack of motivation to do anything. Even though all he'd eaten today was the bit of toast and cheese Aunt Petunia had given him while Uncle Vernon was napping (Uncle Vernon still severely disapproved of anything having to do with Harry, particularly coaxing him to eat), Harry was still not hungry, He was empty; but it was his heart that was empty, not his stomach. Suddenly, Harry was shaken from his stupor when a very manky looking owl tapped at the glass to his window. Tied to the creature's leg was a small package. Even though Harry was depressed, his curiosity did not fail him and he tore open the package. A tiny photgraph with moving subjects fell to his lap and he was holding a piece of rather rugged looking parchment. Dear Harry,  
I found this picture among Professor Dumbledore's belongings, and I thought you should have it. I know this is a very difficult time for you, and I know you must be feeling quite miserable. I want to remind you, Harry that we all still love you, and I heard of your plans to abstain from attending the final year at Hogwarts. I know you want to find Snape and kill him. We all do, Harry. Dumbledore would never have approved of your missing the last year of school to seek vengeance. Please reconsider. I know that once you are of age, I cannot tell you what to do, but your mother and father would never have wanted you to leave Hogwarts early either, and even though you may think Sirius would have wanted you to leave, I truly believe he too would not have been thrilled about it. Send me an owl anytime, Harry. I am still here for you. Warm Regards,  
Remus Lupin 

Harry picked up the fallen photograph with a trembling hand and dared to look at it. Tears erupted down his face as he watched the miniature Dumbledore and Harry in the photo. It was taken in the previous year in the Great Hall. They had been discussing the importance of detecting the vomit flavored jellybean in the Bertie Bott's bag before consuming it, as they both shared the rare experience of having eaten one of the detestable things. Harry wondered if he would ever laugh again like that, and he hated Snape with every fiber of his soul. He would kill them both, Snape and Voldemort if it was the last thing he ever did. Harry tucked the photograph into his shirt pocket, vowing never to let it out of his sight.

/Nobody told me what you thought Nobody told me what to say Everyone showed you where to turn Told you when to runaway Nobody told you where to hide Nobody told you what to say Everyone showed you where to turn Showed you when to runaway/

Harry wiped his tears from his face and walked slowly downstairs. He thought he might like to eat a piece of Petunia's leftover pork pie now.

/You take it all You take it all away.  
This pain you gave to me You take it all away This pain you gave to me Take it all away This pain you gave to me/


End file.
